January 2012
26 posts
Performance Appraisal Reviews
It’s that time of year again where my boss forwards a form and tells us to fill it out. My coworker sent me an IM with what I should put. I think it sums me up pretty well.
“I excel at problem solving (how can I repair their relationship in this fanfic?), forward thinking (this is where I want to be in the future, wearing this, and eating that), persuasion (read this fic, Jessica, no...
Most of my close friends know I’m a total dork and read fanfic, and if you don’t know than I guess I will expose myself. I was just informed by a friend that one of the stories I read (past tense) is “making the rounds among producers in Los Angeles.” It just happens that this story was the one that we seriously made fun of. I liked it in a this is so bad I can’t stop...
December 2011
51 posts
“I only had sex with her because i love you”
– Bret Easton Ellis (The Rules of Attraction)
The last day before the holiday....
J - Why did you send a hot guy here to deliver a camera to be repaired?
You have no idea what just happened
Me - Explain
J - Some hottie in jeans and sneakers and ICE BLUE EYES comes here. Dave is like, from the hallway, SOMEONE IS AT THE WINDOW
So I groan.
Then I am like, HELLO HOTTIE
He is like, I am dropping a camera off for repair. I am like, Er, ummm, uhhh.....
WITH WHO?
He had no clue. Then he is like, oh, Hold on, lemme look at the email. RMAblah blah
Oh, Christina _____ sent me the email.
I wanted to squee, YOU ARE THE GIFT SHE SENT ME!
SHE IS MY KINDRED SOUL. I AM IN HER GUTS
But I just nodded, mhmmm, and called like, 5 people to see who could take this friggin camera
OMG AND I AM IN THIS AWFUL SKIIER SWEATER
I CURSE YOU
You watch Louie?
Louie: I want to be your friend, and it’s okay to me that there’s nothing else. But can I just, can I just tell you one time the way I feel about you?
Pamela: You wanna tell me?
Louie: Yes. And I’ll be your friend, and I won’t press to be anything else if you’ll just let me get it out one time.
Pamela: You wanna tell me.
Louis: Yes. Please.
Pamela: Go ahead…
Louie: Pamela- I’m in love with you.
Pamela: (Head in hands), Oh God.
Louie: Yeah. It’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me.
Pamela: (Hand over ears), Oy, eww!
Louie: Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years cause that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you…which is that I’m crazy about you, Pamela. I don’t wanna be with anybody else.
Pamela: Louie…
Louie: I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t even think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train…we were on this train and you were holding my hand…that’s the whole dream, you were holding my hand, and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you Pamela, it’s like a condition, it’s like Polio, I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you…and I can’t be with you…so I’m gonna die. And I don’t care. Because I was brought into existence to know you. And that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back…it’s like greedy. I’m doing a bad job of this.
Pamela: No you’re not.
Louie: I’m not?
Pamela: No. It’s a good job; it’s a really good job.
